Changes

I laughed as I titled this post, as there have been so many changes in my life in the past year, none earth-shattering but maybe perspective-shattering is a better descriptor.

My new job has now become my old job--it's been a year this month and I feel like I mostly have a clue. I had probably my worst work experience ever last month, and it really impacted me emotionally. While I have worked with, shall we say, "difficult" people in the past, I am happy to say that I don't believe I've ever worked with people who truly want to bring harm to others. Once true colors were revealed, I felt horrified, upset, ready to quit, ready to give up, betrayed, bewildered, ashamed, doubtful, and a host of other emotions. In essence, I cried and cried, lost sleep, and then cried some more. The best part of the story is that feeling so horribly upset caused me quite a bit of introspection, scripture-reading, and prayer. And ultimately, I again remembered this intrinsic message of our lives here--I know who I am and I know my limitless worth. I KNOW that I am a daughter of God and that I am not alone in this journey. It was a sorely-needed reminder, both for me as an individual and as a wife and mother. My family has truly born the brunt of my job and has supported me, and I am so very grateful for them and for our Heavenly Father who has blessed me with opportunities so Superman and I can fulfill our family's needs.

Another big change was our congregation boundaries changing. I have been extremely gratified to have found friends at church who care for me, warts and all (no, I haven't actually developed any warts this year), and with whom I feel comfortable. This is a big deal for me, and not something that happens easily. For months now, we've had rumors about boundary changes, and finally, last week, it was made official. Out of the 300+ families in our old congregation, seven have been split off to a new ward. The other families were divided into two other congregations. Today was our first day at our new church building with our new congregation, and I honestly thought it wouldn't be a big deal. We got off to a rocky start, with Superman out of town and the kids not moving quite as quickly as I was asking, so we were almost 20 minutes late when we walked in to sit at the very back of the 2nd overflow. The chapel was tiny, and the place was packed. Sitting there among strangers, I found my eyes welling up several times, as I thought of the struggles my little family will have while making new friends. Later, I was trying to explain why it seems so hard to me, and I likened it to moving. Every time we move, we're the new ones at church, which is fine because most everyone else knows each other and feels emboldened to reach out to meet us. But right now, everyone is in a state of flux and feeling insecure, which makes it harder to reach out and introduce yourself, I think. I had to again remember that I know who I am and that Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us. This, too, will be a learning experience that will bring me and my family closer to Him. Patience is the key, and not a virtue I have honed very well :)

Moral of the story is, reach out to those who are new, assume best intentions from those around you, and remember who you are and your individual worth to One who is watching over you.