Changes

I laughed as I titled this post, as there have been so many changes in my life in the past year, none earth-shattering but maybe perspective-shattering is a better descriptor.

My new job has now become my old job--it's been a year this month and I feel like I mostly have a clue. I had probably my worst work experience ever last month, and it really impacted me emotionally. While I have worked with, shall we say, "difficult" people in the past, I am happy to say that I don't believe I've ever worked with people who truly want to bring harm to others. Once true colors were revealed, I felt horrified, upset, ready to quit, ready to give up, betrayed, bewildered, ashamed, doubtful, and a host of other emotions. In essence, I cried and cried, lost sleep, and then cried some more. The best part of the story is that feeling so horribly upset caused me quite a bit of introspection, scripture-reading, and prayer. And ultimately, I again remembered this intrinsic message of our lives here--I know who I am and I know my limitless worth. I KNOW that I am a daughter of God and that I am not alone in this journey. It was a sorely-needed reminder, both for me as an individual and as a wife and mother. My family has truly born the brunt of my job and has supported me, and I am so very grateful for them and for our Heavenly Father who has blessed me with opportunities so Superman and I can fulfill our family's needs.

Another big change was our congregation boundaries changing. I have been extremely gratified to have found friends at church who care for me, warts and all (no, I haven't actually developed any warts this year), and with whom I feel comfortable. This is a big deal for me, and not something that happens easily. For months now, we've had rumors about boundary changes, and finally, last week, it was made official. Out of the 300+ families in our old congregation, seven have been split off to a new ward. The other families were divided into two other congregations. Today was our first day at our new church building with our new congregation, and I honestly thought it wouldn't be a big deal. We got off to a rocky start, with Superman out of town and the kids not moving quite as quickly as I was asking, so we were almost 20 minutes late when we walked in to sit at the very back of the 2nd overflow. The chapel was tiny, and the place was packed. Sitting there among strangers, I found my eyes welling up several times, as I thought of the struggles my little family will have while making new friends. Later, I was trying to explain why it seems so hard to me, and I likened it to moving. Every time we move, we're the new ones at church, which is fine because most everyone else knows each other and feels emboldened to reach out to meet us. But right now, everyone is in a state of flux and feeling insecure, which makes it harder to reach out and introduce yourself, I think. I had to again remember that I know who I am and that Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us. This, too, will be a learning experience that will bring me and my family closer to Him. Patience is the key, and not a virtue I have honed very well :)

Moral of the story is, reach out to those who are new, assume best intentions from those around you, and remember who you are and your individual worth to One who is watching over you.

Where's the sisterly love?

I've really been struggling lately with the comments made by people I know, love, and admire. If you haven't heard the latest about Hilary Rosen and Ann Romney, let me sum it up for you: Hilary said Ann hasn't worked a day in her life (and Ann is a stay-at-home mom of five boys who has had a lot of health struggles).

In short, I think it's wrong that politics have become so combatative. It makes me sick, actually.

Now to get to the long: because my groups of friends, family, and acquaintances on Facebook are people I have things in common with (work, religion, motherhood, place of residence, etc.), I often make the mistake that they think like me. This issue forced me (yet again) to realize this is often not the truth.

I was really hurt by some of the comments made by these people I (again!) know, love, and admire. Suddenly, I was back to everything I hate about hanging out with groups of women--petty comments about other women. Why is being a stay-at-home mom vs a working-outside-the-home mom always the dividing line? Am I really that different from you because I work full-time outside my home? Do you really feel the need to justify your choices by attacking me for making different ones?

Here's what I know:
--How much I long for more time with my kids.
--How I wish my life was as structured and kid-successful as yours appears to be.
--How I wish I just had more time PERIOD--work sucks off 60 hours each week, yet I'm still supposed to be able to do all the things you do.
--How I wish you weren't so defensive about it so we could talk about how each other feels, so we could buoy each other up instead of always having that divide.
--How I wish you knew how much I value my time (or lack thereof) outside of work as my family time, so I can't make it to all the fun activities you get to--and how envious that makes me at times.
--How hard I work--going to my job doesn't mean I just sit there aimlessly and come home refreshed. I am exhausted, just like you are, and I come home to eager little people who haven't seen me all day. I'm ON 24/7, the same as you.
--Yes, I choose (BIG word there that opens a BIG can of worms) to work full-time but you choose to stay home, and sometimes I really wish I actually felt like I had that choice. Yeah, I might still choose to work, but I would love to have the luxury (just as you might love to have that luxury) to choose. Please don't act like I chose it because I couldn't or didn't want to take care of my kids full-time.

We are not that different, so please don't belittle the choices I have made and continue to make in order to take care of my family. I love them and want to do what's right for them, just as you do. And, yes, I'm very grateful to have a great job--but I've worked hard and studied hard in order to have this great job so that I can help care for my family.

Why can't we just care for and strengthen one another instead of tearing each other down? Please stop widening the divide between us. I'm pretty confident that we all want the same ultimate end goal--happy and confident children who can go out and make their mark in the world.

News Flash: Mormor is retiring after 48 years!

This is a picture of my mom (Mormor) who is retiring after 48 years in the nursing profession. I have honestly never met someone who works as hard as my mom--her capacity to work full-time at age 70, serve at church (she was released in the last year as the president of her congregation's group in charge of all the girls ages 12-18), serve with the Daughters of the Utah Pioneers, serve with her political party, baby-sit her grandkids at the drop of a hat, and still send packages to us for every holiday she can come up with is absolutely MIND-BOGGLING. And I'm pretty sure I'm forgetting something! She is seriously my hero.

I'm not going to say I've never heard her complain--she's nothing if not straight-forward :) but her complaints have more to do with people not fulfilling their potential--people who don't seize the opportunities given to them. She's a home-grown farm girl with no patience for whiners. Just Do It was her motto long before it was Nike's.

Lately I've been thinking of how grateful I am for all that my family has. We're healthy, Superman and I both have good jobs, we've got great (active!) kids, we have a safe place to live, etc., etc. Listing everything made me realize what I'm really grateful for is the hard work ethic both Superman and I have had instilled in us. We both know how to do what needs to be done--yes, there's occasional whining :) but in the end, we get up and do it. Past experience has taught us that when something happens that's not so peachy, we can depend on each other and all that we've done thus far to prepare ourselves and our family.

I love you, Mormor! You'll take a chunk out of the nursing profession by leaving, but know that you've taught many people that they're able to do far more than they first thought.

CBC's Talent: Caring for Foster Dogs

I know I haven't posted in almost a year, but I absolutely HAD to show this. Our church had a talent show for the 8-11 year old girls last night, and my girl was seriously awesome! She was so funny and had people in stitches with what she had to share about her talent: caring for foster dogs.

Let's see if this works--I put the video up on YouTube--let me know if you're unable to access this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ncqoOoxQAc

CBC ROCKS!! Enjoy!! (and sorry about the camera shaking--I was switching between laughing and crying :) )

First Day of 3rd Grade

CBC started 3rd grade, and dressed herself for her first day. Naturally. Enjoy :)

In case you can't see her ensemble in its entirety, she is wearing the same howling wolf shirt Buddy is with olive capris, black argyle knee-length socks, big blue tennis shoes, and a white hat. A neighbor girl bribed her to wear a skirt and a dress shirt on her first day--"girly clothes." Didn't work :)

Buddy Boy and foster dogs!

So glad Superman took this picture of Buddy today. In the future, I am going to milk this photo for all it's worth!

Also included some photos of our latest foster dog, Loki, the Norse god of mischief (aptly named).

We had two others before him that CBC named Jacob and Edward. She expected Jacob to be her favorite; thus, her name. She would have been completely happy if we would have also had a girl to name Bella. :)

Too smart for his own good

Today, Buddy had to go sit in timeout because he hit me with a play sword. Afterwards, we were talking and I was trying to get him to understand why hitting is wrong. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Buddy, how do you think it felt when you hit me? Do you think it felt very nice? How would you feel if I hit you?
Buddy: blah blah It hurt blah blah I won't do it again blah blah Sorry, Mom.
Me: Thank you for saying you were sorry.
Buddy: How do you think it felt when you put me in timeout and locked me in my room? Do you think it felt very nice? How would you feel if I locked you in your room?
Me: Uh. [Secretly thinking, It would be fabulous!] Why are you so smart?!
Buddy: I was just born that way.

Hawaii pictures

I'll post some info about our trip to Hawaii, but if you want to see pictures, I finally just posted some here:

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.252660181417223.85463.100000197284532&l=fafb907e67

Oh, United Airlines, how I hate thee

Superman and I are on vacation! Sans kids! In Hawa. . . er, I mean, San Francisco. If only our friends the Salcidos still lived in SFO, we might be happy about that!

Why I hate United Airlines:
1-Bad news with no help
("Oh, your flight is even further delayed than when you checked in online and now you're going to miss your connection. Didn't you foresee the future and know that was going to happen?! Go stand in that line over there for an hour and potentially miss your first leg to SFO.")

2-Bad news with pretend help
("Yep, you're going to miss your connection in SFO and there isn't another flight to Lihue until tomorrow morning. We'll put you in a hotel in SFO for the night." [Rejoicing] "Wait, your flight out of Seattle leaves in 20 minutes--I better hurry!")

3-Bad news with no help and no commiseration
(Wait in line for an hour in San Francisco. "You've flown here to SFO to spend the night and we're supposed to put you up in a hotel, but we have no hotels." ['But I was told . . .'] "NO HOTEL. United will pay $65 for one night if you can find a hotel. NEXT IN LINE!")

4-Customer service over the phone was worse. ("So you want to fly to San Francisco. . ." ['No, I'm IN San Francisco.'] Hold music. "So you don't want to take your flight to Hawaii tomorrow." ['Don't cancel those tickets!!!'] Hold music. "Sorry, we can't help you over the phone. You need to talk to aiport authorities." ['I already did; they can't help me.] Hold music. 35 minutes later. "Sorry, we can't help you."]

5-Too many freaking lines. ("Oh, you've waited in line for 40 minutes? Sorry, you're in the wrong line." ['But I was told to wait here.'] "Sorry!"

In the end, after three hours at SFO airport, we decided against booking the $450/night hotels that were ranked above 1 stars, and we got ourselves the last room in a nice, little 1-star hotel for $140/night. Our taxi driver managed to take us in the exact opposite direction of the hotel. The hotel guy was super nice, honestly, and yelled at the taxi driver. Our hotel in Lihue wouldn't refund our night's stay or switch it to another night, which was very sad. But, San Francisco is a lovely city seen through taxi windows going 95 miles an hour :)

And we're leaving for Hawaii (fingers crossed) in 2 hours. Mormor and Farmor are handling the kids, which are handling us being gone with aplomb. Things are looking up.

Check you later!
(I hate United Airlines--they will rue the day!!!)

Thor!

I think we lucked out twice . . . when we took Stormy back to the shelter, the foster lady informed us that they had a lot of little dogs needing foster care for 11 days (until an adoption event). CBC perked up a little and picked out a chihuaha/blue merle mix. Superman came home and said, "What is THAT?! Is that a rat?" Luckily, he is not a giant rat, but he does sort of look like one. Seems to be a great dog! His name was Mannie, but CBC renamed him Thor :)

Easter Bunnies bring pets?!

 
Easter brought us a nice surprise--a dog!! Superman and I had discussed fostering a dog for awhile, and I finally went to foster parent training. The Friday before Easter, I brought home a cockapoo! CBC was in complete shock--we got her on film saying, "Wait, what?" about a million times. She did not believe this dog was for her. The dog was four years old and had just been separated from her puppies--she was the sweetest thing! Her foster name was Sandy, but CBC renamed her Stormy. She was AWESOME! We took her fishing with us, shopping with us, on walks, on runs, played fetch, played hide-and-seek . . . Fabulous with the kids, house-trained, crate-trained, seriously perfect. Well, except for the seizures. The seizures were weekly and were more than we could handle, so the shelter took her back to find her a rescue home that will run tests and find out what is wrong with her and how to help. She was truly so precious to us! I picked CBC up early from school yesterday so she could go with me to return Stormy. CBC cried, I cried, and Stormy cried. Good luck, Stormy! We hope the rescue home will be everything you need and want! We love you!!

Spring Break

CBC got to go to my parents' house in Utah for Spring Break--it was the first time she had flown by herself and she said it "totally rocked." She has asked to be allowed to fly by herself from now on--right, like I'm going to book separate tickets just for her :) Anyway, she made lots of friends and had a great time in Utah. The weather was actually nice--no rain, no snow, no freezing cold. Buddy kept asking where she was and when she was coming home. He called her on my cell phone to tell her to "come home now! You're taking a long time!"

Of course, once she got home, they only got along for, like, 10 minutes.

Keepin' it real

My boss thinks I should start a blog called "Keepin' it real" because I enjoy regaling everyone at work with failure stories in parenthood. Well, here's my most recent spectacular parenting failure--I let Buddy watch "Vampire Diaries" with me. So last night, he was mad at me, and told me he was going to shoot me and "sink my blood." Nice one. Excellent parenting. So proud!

Deep Thoughts

Laughing at CBC's fascinating comments tonight--first, we're watching a recap of the Mariners game and Ichiro missed a catch. CBC says, "WHAT?! Ichiro missed? He's the best! Well, sometimes heroes fail."

And now, we're watching Tron, and the young Flynn jumps off the building as the guard is screaming. She says, "Well, he's gotta learn."

LOVE HER!!

An addition from Buddy--on Sunday, I asked him what he wanted for dinner (usually this results in him asking me, "Is ice cream food?" "Are chocolate chips food?" because I require a "food" selection for dinner). Anyway, he says, "I don't like food. It's not good. I only like candy now. Can I have candy for dinner?" Hmm, let me think about it . . .

CBC's violin recital!!

CBC rocked it at her violin recital--we are so proud! It was the first time she has played individually in front of an audience and she did great. She said she was nervous, but I don't think she looks it--she's a super star!!!

(Can you also tell she has purple and black checked pants with a white and black striped shirt? LOVE the professional ensemble :) )

Last but certainly not least--cousin pictures!

Construction on the Great Wall of China is exhausting work!

And more pics . . .

Misc pics

Since I didn't post for forever, I feel like sharing pictures from Christmas and the intervening months. Enjoy (or don't :) ) ! Mormor and Morfar and Aunt Heidi were here, and we had a blast!

Crows swear?!

Friday, Buddy came home with a new word that we've heard waaay too many times this weekend--caca. We discussed how it's a bad word, but this one seems to be lasting a lot longer than the others. He said it again in the car this morning on the way to church, and I gently reminded him that "we don't say that word" which led to a whole discussion.
CBC: Why don't we say that word?
Me: It's a bad word in Spanish--basically means C-R-A-P.
CBC: Wait, what's the word again?
Me: I don't want to repeat it when Buddy can hear me.
CBC: Just tell me.
Me (quietly): Caca.
CBC: Wait, what?! That's what crows say! And it's a bad word?!
So then we had to hear the rendition of CAW-CAW versus caca. Very nice.

CBC Turned 8!

CBC's birthday has come and gone, with a lot of fun stuff! We extended her birthday for weeks--she turned 8 in the beginning of the month, but we didn't have an actual party until the end of the month because . . . Mormor, Grandpa, Uncle Erik and Aunt Jody and the kids came to participate in the festivities!!! It was so fun having everyone stay at our house, especially since we don't get to see the Hansen cousins very often. We had such a blast! 8 is a really big deal in our religion (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) because that's when children get baptized, so the cousins made a special trip to come and participate in CBC's baptism. Everyone's help was much appreciated, and the slumber parties at night were rockin'! I am so proud of CBC and all she does to be a good person. She is truly a light in our lives.

After the baptism, we all came back to our house and had a combination CBC/Superman birthday party! 41 kids were invited, but (whew!) only about 25 came. It was a puppy-themed party and, wow, it was probably a good thing a real puppy wasn't invited. It was exhausting, but my girl had the time of her life.

Buddy had a great time, too, and is already planning his "speed racer" party--by which I mean he holds it over our heads whenever he's mad--"If you're not nice to me, you can't come to my Speed Racer!" Think I took us all way too far into the "theme" parties! And he's super antsy to get baptized, too--we'll have to plan another huge party in five more years :)
(And if anyone can suggest a more user-friendly and quicker blog option, I am all ears. Trying to move these pictures around took me 20 minutes! Sorry about the crazy formatting, but I don't have 20 more minutes to waste.)